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First Person

The Experience Questionnaire: Solomon Georgio

Solomon Georgio is a Los Angeles-based comedian, writer, and radio host. He has been featured on Comedy Central, written for “SpongeBob Squarepants” and “Adam Ruins Everything,” and hosted season one of the radio show Lost Notes, an anthology of untold music stories.

Where do you come up with your best ideas?  
During disrespectfully long showers. I’m sure several species of fish have died off because I had a funny idea.

What is the best non-material gift you’ve received? 
I got the gift of shit talking from my childhood best friend, Tracie. She had the best insults and I spent years training under her.

What is the best non-material gift you’ve given? 
I call my home Madame Georgio’s Finishing School for Straight Male Comedians. No straight man has lived with me and didn’t come out a better person. It is my gift to the world.

What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced? 
Being a comedian. I was raised to not be emotionally invested in anything. I’ve done a great job at it, except for comedy. It’s been the only constant in my life for over a decade and has made me cry on average once a week. 

“No straight man has lived with me and didn’t come out a better person. It is my gift to the world.”

If you had to choose a different profession, what would you do? 
I would be a bartender or any job that would force people to be nice to me or not get what they want. 

What is the most useful mistake you’ve made?  
When I was 10, I got caught stealing kite sticks because I forgot they were in my back pocket. The drug store still charged me with theft and called the police, even though I tried to offer them money. That day I learned to never trust the system. I am now in full support of scamming or stealing from any company as long as you can get away with it.

What’s the strangest experience you’ve had? 
I was hitchhiking with a couple of friends, and we found a whip-it cracker in the stranger’s car. We didn’t know what it was, but we held on to it. Later that summer, we befriended another Solomon. He was white, so we called him White Solomon. He was the opposite of me, born in America and raised in Africa. He was only in town for the month. White Solomon saw the whip-it cracker, immediately drove us to a porn shop, bought a bunch of nitrous canisters and taught us how to do whip-its. I never saw him again after that day.

What opportunity do you regret passing up? 
None at all. But I do regret some of the ones I didn’t pass up.

How do you relax? 
I’m always relaxed.  

If you could go anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would you go? 
To bed. 

What is your most indelible childhood memory? 
Going to Old Country Buffet every Sunday after church. My dad made us all lie about our age to get a discount; it was the best.

What’s the most valuable thing you learned in school? 
That if you’re charming enough, you can turn a C into an A.

When you’re stuck how do you get unstuck? 
I hang out with my friends. I’m lucky enough to know people that do a great job of getting me out of my own head.

What is your proudest moment? 
The time I was working as a barista and didn’t recognize Dave Matthews

What would you like to experience before you die?  
I’m all set with experiences. I’m good to go.

For more, visit our Experience Questionnaire archive page.

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